Moments
by VanillaMostly
Summary: Lightning x Hope vignettes : I tried to be as canonical as possible while aiming for fluff... lol
1. Mom

**Moment #1: Mom**

"Mom..." murmurred Hope in his sleep.

Lightning snorted. "Not by a long shot," she said. But she continued to watch him.

Sleeping, he looked even more like a baby than he normally does. Except a baby would look more peaceful. More carefree. This boy has got sadness draped on him like a heavy coat. How old was he? He looked thirteen or fourteen. The age when he was supposed to be playing ball with his friends or running around in the streets, or whatever kids did for fun. Lightning didn't really know, because when she was that age she did none of it.

Instead, she stood on the corner of the street with bags of groceries she managed to scrape for the week in one hand and medicine for her sick mother in the other, watching her schoolmates laugh and shout as they played some kind of battle simulation game. "Hey, there's Claire!" one girl had yelled, and waved at her to join. Lightning didn't answer and went home, where beaming, sweet Serah was the only thing that made her smile feel not so forced. The next day, she passed the same children again, but this time they didn't invite her to play. The girl who had done so the day before said to her friends loudly, so that Lightning could hear, "Look, you can see holes in her uniform. Isn't that so embarrassing?"

Lightning skipped sleep for that night and spent it patching up all of Serah's clothes. She herself could go around wearing a trash bag if she had to but Serah. Not Serah. From then on she always made sure Serah went outside in the cleanest, nicest clothes with not a single tear on them. Her performance in school slipped down several notches as a result but Lightning hardly cared. She was going to join the army after all. You don't need stellar grades for that.

Then her mother died, and if it weren't for the fact that joining the army required you to graduate high school Lightning would have gladly dropped out. She spent her fifteenth year working one odd job after the other, often lying about her age so she could get hired and several times even cross-dressing for the manual labor jobs that wanted only boys. She got her sleep during class and lived on sandwiches and water. Lightning kind of liked it though, as it made her body stronger and kept her too busy to think unnecessary thoughts.

It was only in the deep of night, when she checked in on Serah sleeping in bed, did those thoughts come creeping up. The stupid memories. Her mother's dying, emaciated face. Or worse, when her mother was alive and well and so was her father - whose face Lightning didn't even remember, but his gentle voice and large hand holding hers she did. Lightning hated this. They made her feel like a child. A needy child who wanted someone to lean on and hold her hand, just like her father had done once.

One night Lightning, for no reason, broke down, and Serah caught her. This was the worst. Lightning was supposed to be strong. And strong people don't cry. Serah, sleepily climbing out of bed, held Lightning close and whispered, "It's alright, nee-chan. Cry it all out." Lightning had tried to push her away, but Serah wouldn't let her. Which was good, because it really was true: Lightning cried herself dry that night and never shed a tear again.

Serah... Her little sister. The only person she had left in this world. Lightning had always thought of Serah as someone fragile and delicate, there for her to protect. It wasn't until she was gone did Lightning realize her sister had been the force keeping her strong.

Lightning shook her head. She did not want to go down that route. Looking back at Hope's sleeping face, she imagined what it'd be like in his shoes. One part of her wanted to slap him because what he is suffering now is nothing compared to what she had to go through at his age. Did she have a grown-up to guide her along every step of the way? Not in the least. But now, thinking about Serah, Lightning realized that Hope might be worse off, in a way. He didn't have his most important person beside him just when he needed one most. Or if he had one, they weren't here any longer.

Lightning could understand what that was like. But unlike Hope, she was older, knew what to expect, and her past prepared her for it. And more than anything, she was used to being strong. She'd had to be for Serah. Even though Serah wasn't here right now, the hardened shell Lightning had worn for so many years wasn't so easy to break.

xx

"Lightning-san... Lightning-san?"

A cool hand laid on Lightning's arm, shaking her. Lightning opened her eyes, and it took a moment for her to register where she was, why she was here, and who was the young boy currently looking hesitantly at her.

Then the moment was over and Lightning was on her feet, tempted to hit herself. "I fell asleep? How long?" she demanded. She felt incredibly stupid. She was an ex-soldier. She knew better than to fall asleep on watch. Not to mention the situation they were in was a thousandfold more dangerous than any training session.

"N-not that long," said Hope, which definitely meant it was pretty long. "But don't worry. We're still safe, see?"

He was right. The sky was quiet and their surroundings unchanged from before. Nevertheless Lightning ignored him and began moving forwards, angry with herself. She could go days without sleep and never have a problem. So why? How could she let her guard down?

"Lightning-san, are you ok?"

She glanced over her shoulder and saw the boy catching up quickly. "Tch," she muttered, looking away and crossing her arms. "That was my fault. It won't happen again."

"I didn't mean..." The two of them continued their ways for a while in silence. Then, while Lightning was calculating the best path to take, Hope interrupted her thoughts again.

"When you were sleeping," he said, looking at his shoes. "You - you seemed like you were having a bad dream. So that's why I asked."

Lightning chose not to reply.

"You really love her, don't you? Your sister?"

"What's your point," she said, not very nicely either. She really had no patience when it came to kids.

Hope's voice sounded suddenly small and quiet. "So... how can you go on so... fearlessly? How do you do it? How do you put it all behind you?"

Lightning stopped and turned around. The boy's eyes were looking into hers, waiting. So trusting. Did she deserve that trust? But somehow she couldn't break her gaze.

"You don't stop to think about it," she said after a long pause. "You keep moving."

Hope nodded.

"No more questions," said Lightning, turning back to the path. The boy was wrong to trust her after all. Her answer had been a lie. She wasn't fearless. She hadn't put it all behind her. Maybe she was running away-

No. Stop. Don't think. Just go.

Her own advice sounded in her head, a cool voice of reason. Lightning sighed, so ever softly. She cleared those unnecessary thoughts to the back of her head. Yes, now was not the time. For she had to stay strong for someone else now.


	2. Hug

**Moment #2: Hug**

Hope was surprised to say the least to feel Lightning's arms suddenly come around him. She was hugging him. A strange dull ache tightened his stomach that didn't have anything to do with what he ate. It was just a hug and he's surely gotten a lot in his life: from his Mom mostly, but several from Vanille and when he was younger from some annoying old ladies who thought he was "cute." But none of them made him feel like this.

Then the hug was over, and the group was moving on and of course there were more important things to think about than the fact that Lightning had just hugged him. He was about to meet his father, something he'd dreaded for a long time, mostly because - well, he admitted it - he was scared. He'd told himself over and over that his father didn't care about him so why should he care what his father thinks? But that wasn't true. He cared. And deep inside him he knew he feared his father's blame and rejection because not only did he let his mother die, he was now also a L'Cie, Cocoon's worst enemy and especially his father's since he worked for the Sanctum.

He remembered the hate on the people's faces, even that little girl, earlier when he and Snow had confronted them. His father would surely wear that expression. As Hope neared the door of his house he wanted very much to turn back and run away. But so many people depended on him to do this. And Lightning. She would think him weak and a coward.

Which Hope already knew he was. But he wanted to change that.

Because then, maybe Lightning would smile at him again. That rare, genuine smile meant for him and only him.

xx

Hope, his father, and Fang were sitting in the living room. His father picked up the remote and turned the TV off. "I've seen enough," he sighed, referring to the news that was previously broadcasting about the "dangeorus L'Cie investing the area." It was a funny feeling seeing his own face on TV, Hope thought. He pictured his classmates' faces if they had been watching just now. Ironically there used to be days when they all laughed about how awesome it'd be to appear on TV.

"It's time we have a talk," said Hope's father into the silence.

Fang raised her chin, studying Hope's father. Hope thought she was going to argue but she simply shrugged and said, "You're right." She turned to Hope. "Get Lightning and Snow. Wouldn't want to leave them out."

Hope nodded. He didn't know what to think of Fang quite yet but she didn't seem like a bad person, albeit a bit scary. Then again, he'd found Lightning scary at first too.

He walked down the hall to the guest bedroom where Snow was currently resting to recover. Fifteen minutes ago Lightning had asked Hope to lead her there, and Hope was smart enough to tell she wanted to be alone for her chat. Lightning acted like she hated Snow so Hope was pretty confused on what she had to say, unless it was to yell at him or beat him up some more (which meant it probably wasn't a good idea to leave them alone).

As he approached the room though, he heard no sign of yelling or hitting. Instead, Lightning was talking, but in a quiet voice, the kindest she'd ever used with Snow.

They were talking about Serrah. Hope hesitated, not wanting to intrude on this private subject. He could see them from where he stood. Snow lying in bed and Lightning facing him.

"Tell me your real name," Snow was saying.

Lightning let out a soft sound that sounded almost like a laugh. "Why don't you wait for Serrah to tell you," she said.

Hope knocked the wall at that moment, causing Lightning and Snow to glance over - and it was over, just like that. But Hope would be lying if he said he didn't feel it. "It" was a wave of impatience and irritation that suddenly gripped him right then and the desire to grow up, fast, right on the spot.

Because the difference in the atmosphere when he was with Lightning and the atmosphere when she was with Snow was glaringly obvious. As obvious as the difference between a child and an adult.

Lightning and Snow were looking at him expectantly. Hope cleared his throat. "My dad wants to talk to you," he said to them both, but he was looking at Lightning. He wondered if one day she would see him differently as he was seeing her. But he decided that was just wishful thinking.

For now, he had to be happy with that slight upturn of the lips and the trace of warmth in her blue eyes when they met his own.


	3. Madeup

**Moment #3: Made-up**

**(haha this was a joke kinda story, think of it as an extra)**

They were fighting some PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW WHO EXACTLY. Hope got hurt. In a flash Lightning (lol no pun intended) flew over to him. "Are you alright Hope? Is it - "

"I'm fine!" he said before running off quickly. Lightning kicked the last attacker off to next Tuesday and glanced back to see where Hope was going.

Vanille had been hurt sometime during the fight and was stirring feebly. Hope knelt down and began using his super medic powers to heal her.

Huffing and puffing, the last three people of the gang, namely Snow, Sazh and Fang, came running over after they'd taken care of their respective attackers.

"Vanille!" said Fang breathlessly, slowing to a stop when she saw that Hope was healing her lover - uh, I mean partner. "How is she?" she asked quietly.

"She's lost a bit of blood," said Hope, "but it's not too serious. There, she should be okay now."

Right on cue Vanille raised herself up and smiled reassuringly at everyone. "Yup, I'm good as new! Don't look so worried, Fang." She turned to Hope and beamed happily. "It's all thanks to Hope of course!"

Fang stared at Hope. "Right," she said. She turned away.

Sahz raised an eyebrow while Snow grinned and did his dumb thumbs-up thing. "Nice job guys, mission accomplished! As expected of heroes!"

No one was really listening as they were all busy getting away from the area so they wouldn't be caught in ANOTHER attack. Hope, jogging to keep up with Lightning who was walking strangely fast, eyed her nervously.

"Uh, Lightning-san?" he asked.

Silence.

"Um," tried Hope again. "Are you mad at me... or something?"

"Who said I am," said Lightning, perhaps a bit too harshly. She ignored Hope's bewildered gaze and crossed her arms. Not far behind them straggled Fang and Vanille, where Vanille was acting her usual cheery, cutesy self but Fang wasn't. Fang, who normally smiled indulgently when Vanille babbled about nothing, was frowning and sending death rays at the back of Hope's neck.

Sahz and his chocobo, watching all this, smirked (yes, even the chocobo). "Young people and love," he sighed.

"What was that?" asked Snow, catching up after he'd realized no one had waited around to hear his foolish speech.

"Nothing," said Sahz lightly.

Snow felt very left out today.


	4. Rain

**Moment #4: rain**

"A second ago it was cloudless," said Sazh, eyes wide as saucers.

He stood along with everyone else huddled in a cave, looking out at the downpour outside. And by downpour, it was really a downpour. The rain crashed down sleet-like and the sky was pitch black, with flashes of lightning and thunder coming and going at frequent intervals. The lightning wasn't just a flash, either. It was the kind that split the sky into two in a bright white bolt.

"I sure missed this about Pulse," muttered Fang, twisting her wet hair.

"It's the summer season," said Vanille, jumping up and down to keep warm. "Thunderstorms are common. But they go away as fast as they come."

"There, see?" grinned Snow, ever the optimist. "We'll be out of here soon."

"Oh, please," Fang said, rolling her eyes. "You just _had _to say 'Does it never rain here in Pulse?'"

"C'mon, like it's my fault this happened..."

"Maybe the Maker heard you!" Vanille said excitedly. "It did start raining as soon as you said it!"

"There's no way just because I..."

Hope tuned out the argument, already bored. And tired. They've been doing a lot of walking these past few days, not that he was about to complain. But there was no denying that his legs were sore. He walked a bit further back into the cave, where it felt warmer and drier, and sat down at a spot by some rocks. He leaned back and closed his eyes. After some time which he was barely aware of as he was in the stage between half-consciousness and sleep, a movement to his left made him re-open his eyes.

And he had to immediately do everything in his ability not to flinch or react strongly.

Lightning, apparently thinking him asleep, was not looking his way. Since she had, along with the rest of the group, been caught in the heavy rain while they all ran around looking for shelter, she was drenched and sopping wet. So it made a lot of logical sense that she wanted to take off her soaked red cape, white overcoat, and brown miniskirt...

She dropped these items a few feet away and sat down not far from Hope. In fact, she was close enough for him to see the water droplets that formed on the tips of her bangs and eyelashes. Her shoulders looked surprisingly slender and small when bare. Hope felt an odd flush go to his cheeks and quickly averted his eyes. (But, he told himself, it wasn't like he was looking at anything indecent! Lightning had on so many layers of clothes that even now, she was still wearing a sweater and shorts).

He figured it was about time Lighting glanced over and realize he was awake, but apparently, she wasn't done cleaning up herself yet. Shaking her hair from her face, she sat up straighter, scratching at her neck as if uncomfortable. And suddenly, without a warning (not that she knew she needed one), she pulled at the bottom of her turtleneck sweater and... yeah. Off it went.

Hope closed his eyes firmly, very tempted to edge away as far as possible. Lightning wasn't _naked_, of course, but... He still saw a bit too much than he could take right now. No, he wasn't a Peeping Tom! He really didn't look on purpose. It was pure accident that he glimpsed her L'Cie tattoo. Pure accident.

He wanted to edge away, but he couldn't, because if he did then she'd realize he was awake and... Things would be even more awkward. No, he had to pretend he was deep asleep. But that wasn't as easy as you'd think because everytime Lightning moved or shuffled around, he kept imagining that she was only a centimeter away. And you know what happens when you imagine that? You start feeling as if the person was actually brushing against you. And that is a pretty agonizing feeling, especially when said person has stripped off three-quarters of their clothes and is exposing more skin than you are accustomed to.

And especially when said person does _not _look so... er, unattractive, being so.

What was he thinking! Hope mentally slapped himself. This was Lightning. If she knew the kind of thoughts going in his head... He shuddered.

But really, what was she doing, stripping right next to him! Even if he were actually asleep, she was pretty ignorant to think he wouldn't... feel anything. He was a boy. A fourteen-year-old boy! Just because he was the youngest male here and his voice hadn't deepened quite yet didn't mean he had no hormones.

Wait a minute...

Hope's eyes flew open. He wasn't the only male present! Snow and Sazh -

"Oh, you're awake."

It was a relatively neutral statement yet Hope flinched as if Lightning just accused him of murder. Which was probably a better offense in this case.

"Y-yeah," he said. Cleared his throat. Not looking at her. "Um, the others are...?"

"Vanille and Snow are sleeping." Now Hope did notice two dark lumps on the ground of the cave, as well as the sound of Snow snoring. "Sazh and Fang went out to find wood."

Hope's interest piqued and he forgot not to look at Lightning. "Wood, why?" He snapped his gaze to the opposite direction as soon as he spoke. It was good it was still dark out; he didn't think Lightning noticed where his eyes went. (Prayed she didn't).

"For a fire," said Lightning. "The rain's stopped. Now's a good time for them to go out."

"But... aren't we moving on if..." Hope said, keeping his gaze glued to the rock in front of him.

"We're resting here tonight. Some of us are clearly tired."

Now Hope was sure he wasn't imagining it; Lightning's gaze was boring into him. He glanced back at her reluctantly (at her face!). "I'm not tired."

"You don't have to hide it, Hope," sighed Lightning. "You're a child. It's normal to be tired."

That word.

"I'm not," said Hope quietly. _I'm not a child_.

He felt Lightning look at him but this time he didn't care. She can look at him for hours, days, and years, and it wouldn't matter. Because she'd always look at him as that - a child.

xx

Lightning looked at Hope. The cave was indeed dark but there was a light dimness coming from the moonlight (as Vanille had said, the sky cleared immediately after the thunderstorm passed). His profile was quite sharp from this distance. An angry profile.

She wasn't stupid. She was aware of what he mad about, and it wasn't because she accused him of being tired.

Again, she was reminded of herself at his age. She'd wanted to grow up so quickly, too. She had also hated being called a child, because that word carried so many meanings she hated: weak, unready, helpless. Reliant.

And these words were all false to describe Hope. He was the one who had changed the most out of all of them.

"I'm sorry for calling you a child," said Lightning after a long stretch of silence between them. "I suppose you're not anymore."

He shifted a little, but still refused to look at her.

"You've come a long way," said Lightning. She smirked slightly when she recalled the time she yelled at him for being a burden. "You've really grown, it's true."

That time she had been so frustrated, so angry, but it was really to hide her own fright and insecurity. She hadn't wanted to protect him then. She had wanted him to disappear, so she wouldn't have to babysit some kid.

How things have changed.

_I suppose you don't need protection anymore. Not anyone's. _

She felt a bit lonely, somehow. (_Not mine_).

Her eyelids drifted shut - she hadn't slept for the past several days, thoughts about how close they might be to saving Serah keeping her awake - and her breathing became rythmic.

She hadn't realized she'd said those last thoughts out loud.

xx

Hope watched as Lightning drifted to sleep. The words she murmurred so softly a few moments ago kept cycling in his head. She sounded so sad when she said it... Hope felt his anger quickly waning away. No, he could never stay angry at Lightning. He was going to admit it: he liked Lightning. More than a friend, and definitely not in the same way as liking a sister. He liked her so much he hated her. It frustrated him to no end that Lightning could and likely never will see him as more than a substitute for Serrah. He hated her for that.

But if he didn't care about her, or if he was able to forget it and move on, then he wouldn't hate her like he was doing now. Hope groaned quietly, resting his forehead on his knees. Was this what growing up was about? In that case, he didn't want to grow up.

Lightning, besides him, turned in her sleep, curling into fetal position. It made her look like a completely different person: no armor, no hardened scowl, no rigid straight posture.

Hope smiled, unbeknownst to even himself. He took off his jacket and neckerchief and laid them gently on Lightning. It was a pretty pointless move because the clothes weren't much coverage and they were still a bit damp anyway; he had been caught in the downpour as well, after all. But Lightning clutched it close to her anyway, and the peaceful expression of her face as she held his jacket made it somehow enough.

He realized he had his answer: no matter how futile his feelings were, he just wanted Lightning to be happy. To be protected this time, instead of the other way around.


End file.
